Listen to this podcast here where one of the rREST founders, Christie Nix, talks with “Corporate Quitter” about trauma and more.
Trauma is a severe emotional response to a terrible event, such as sickness, loss of a loved one, an accident, or it could be a natural disaster. Right after the dreadful event, many people manifest signs of denial and shock, which can reduce the quality of their life.
Patients or victims can show unpredictable reactions, flashbacks, or even physical symptoms such as nausea and headache in the long run. The problem with trauma is that it makes people feel that something is wrong with them, which shouldn’t be the case.
While dealing with trauma can be challenging and time-consuming. It should start by learning that nothing is ever wrong with us. Instead, it’s all about what happens to us while we try to live our best lives.
However, this is a mindset that not everyone can quickly shift. But it’s necessary because until then, we can’t deal with trauma.
This post covers crucial points on how we can make our lives better by developing a deeper understanding of trauma and how we can change the way we see things.
How To Change Our Mindset From “Something Is Wrong With Us” To “Something Happened To Us.”
Many people seek help from practitioners when they experience trauma. They know something is not right, but they don’t know what it could be. Therefore, they want someone who can find the root of the problem and possibly help them deal with it.
Unfortunately, they never succeed at this, and they feel worse. Trauma can be deeply rooted, and being emotional can be detrimental. Worse still, we can never know what happened in our lives that is now making us feel the way we do.
No matter how badly you might try to change your mindset, there’s one step you can’ skip; finding the root of the problem. Though this might take time, you need to be patient with yourself. Don’t feel bad if you approach someone you thought could help, but it doesn’t happen that way.
Once you identify that you have trauma, which is vital, it helps to know that you’re human. The best you can do is accept that humans are imperfect, and being one of them, you’re susceptible to unpleasant encounters and that they can change your life completely.
Maybe you did something wrong, or something terrible happened to you many months or years ago. No matter what happens, there’s nothing wrong with you. You need to be gentle with yourself and understand that life can be brutal and something just happened to you.
This is the first step of healing, but it’s not easy. Many people struggle with chronic trauma because they firmly believe something is wrong with them. You don’t want to go down that road.
If someone constantly blames you for the mess you’re dealing with, you might have to cut them off, at least for some time. This will help you work on yourself and improve with time.
Suppose you’ve been working hard to find something holding you from living a free life; you can still let it go. Maybe it can be more profound than you thought. Perhaps something happened when you were too young, and your memory can’t recollect everything, and you know it’s holding you down. You can still let it go.
The main point is to convince yourself that you’re not the problem. Life just happened, and you must heal. Unless you heal, the trauma will burden you, and your life won’t be as good as you would want it to be.
How to Go Back to “The Most Original Event” And Immediately Change Your Emotional Reaction to A Trigger
Emotional reactions to people, things, and situations can lead to trauma. They come back to haunt us. Therefore, as you try to heal, you should return to the original problem and change the emotional reaction to a trigger. But how do you do that?
First, think about what happened that made you react the way you did. Whether the situation is not so bad, you need to understand that at times, we overreact things, and we can later suffer the consequences. In this case, we’re talking about the emotional aftermath attached to how we react to things.
Try to analyze the situation and ask yourself what’s in you that made you react how you did. Maybe someone did or said something unpleasant, which doesn’t matter now. The truth is, regardless of what happened, there’re always many ways to react to situations.
So if you registered an adverse reaction and you’re traumatized, you should talk to yourself one more time. Try to put yourself in the same situation and reflect on what could have been the best possible reaction. From there, convince yourself that what you did was inappropriate, which is why it’s affecting you.
You must have realized that you said something awful because of a statement someone said to you. If that’s the trigger, you can formulate a different mindset toward that trigger so that the next time someone says it; you won’t show the same reaction.
It might take some practice, but you’ll feel in control with consistency. Your emotional reaction should never dictate your future, so returning to original events can help with trauma.
How to Release Anger or Frustration We Have Towards Others
Waiting in traffic, dealing with rude coworkers, and a nagging spouse can be stressful. It’s normal to encounter these daily annoyances. It’s just a usual response to stress, and there’s nothing much to worry about.
However, if you spend all of your life being upset and mad at someone over what they did to you, that can be destructive. It can hurt your career and personal relationships with the people around you.
If you learn that you have anger and frustration toward someone, then you need to do something about it. Here is how to release anger and or frustration you might have toward
Have a Talk with Them
Anger and frustration, if not controlled, can lead to horrible decisions, such as insulting someone or hurting them physically. If you’re mad at someone, that anger will make it hard for you to feel comfortable. It’s like carrying a burden on your back and hoping that the other person feels the weight.
If you want to change that, you need to talk to them. Try to make it a one-on-one talk unless they’re miles away or cannot meet with you in person.
Talking to them and sharing your feelings will set you free. Be candid enough and let them know how you feel and that the previous encounters thwarted your relationship. Make sure they understand that you’re trying to fix what was destroyed.
If they have something to share, make sure you listen to understand and not respond. They might have reasons for behaving how they did. No matter their sentiments, even if you don’t agree with their points of view, this is not the time to exchange words.
You’re there to make things work. End the talk by reminding them that you’re sorry, you’ve forgiven them, and that you love them. This might be a tough move, but you need to be bold enough.
Also, it would be best if you were genuine. Before talking to them, make sure you’re willing to let go of the past. In most cases, they’ll reciprocate your kindness. But if they refuse to let go of the grudge and heal, find your way out and make peace with yourself.
Love The People Around You
Whenever we have problems, we always want to blame them on someone. No matter how bad it sounds, we’re all guilty of this. However, you can still make a difference and spread some love.
The thing is, we can’t change others. Even if we feel that they’re not good enough, it helps to know that they have their reasons for living the way they do. Thus, work on yourself and accept their flaws.
Remember, there are some people who also feel you don’t live right, and they might have some valid points. No one is perfect.
The moment you begin to realize and embrace this fact, you’ll start to love everyone around you without expectations. Do not expect someone to reciprocate the same love you show them because it’ll never happen, and that might break you.
It’s impossible to be mad at someone when you love them. In case of any problem, please find a way to approach them and solve the issue amicably. Though it might be hard to love everyone you come across, it’s much easier to be kind.
When you’re kind to someone, they’ll translate that to love. Therefore, your focus should be on positivity. If you can’t help someone with their problems, at least don’t do something that would hurt them.
How to Identify the “Purpose is” in Our Struggle
It’s believed that each of us came to this life with a purpose. And that the part of the journey is to discover what that purpose might be. It’s also imperative to notice that your purpose might shift as you live on.
Take an example of working for a company and hoping to rise through the ranks. But then something changes, and you find yourself in a whole different place. That is a huge change that might be hard to deal with. But it also shows that your purpose has taken a new twist.
Many people spend many years trying to find their purpose. They don’t realize that they can also get a sign that leads them to their purpose. If you miss a sign, you can pray for it and believe that something is going to happen, and you’ll be on the right track.
If you pray and believe, you can find yourself in the next step, and you’ll feel great about it. You should be careful not to make things too hard for you, and try to have an awareness.
Like any other person, you might struggle to know when there’s an opportunity you need to pounce on. You can try to figure things out on your own, but later on, you learn that you missed something huge, and it used to be right before you.
Once you notice that something feels great, go for it. At least that way, you’ll never miss an opportunity. Luckily, there’s always the chance to turn back around.
You’ll notice that your life keeps getting better as you keep trying. This explains the fact that, at times, our purpose is in the struggle. You’ll keep learning, try new things, and lead a rewarding life. You’ll feel like you’re struggling and your life is stagnant. But if you stop and look where you’ve come from, that’s when you’ll realize how awesome your life has been all that time.
Do not stuff things up even as you try to achieve your goals and discover your purpose. Just be observant enough and cherish every little goal you achieve. It’s all about how happy your life has been. Therefore, find your purpose, look for opportunities, and get to grab chances as they come, but maybe your struggle is the purpose.
Do not spend a lot of time and energy trying to be normal. You’re wasting a huge chunk of your life. If you’re dealing with something, just don’t let it take away your happiness. If you do that, you’ll feel tired and worn. You’ll forget the importance of life and how beautiful things could be if you just let your star fly.
If you’re struggling with trauma, you can use someone’s help to deal with the problem. But you must learn that no one is perfect, and if you feel bad, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it might indicate that something happened to you. Learn to spread some love and forgive those who wronged you at some point, and your life will be great.
Do you want help understanding and overcoming your trauma? Book a rREST session today.